Its been a looong loong time (:

yellow peeps! was bored & tot of bloggin some stuff..

actually, i'm jz bored & blank. hahaha..

hmm~ so lately.. almost done wit SPM :DD
last paper on Monday~

I'm missing all the carolling fun tis year =(

urmm... lately more active in maple.. bt ntg to do sia... lol..
Wasted Rm14.40 on useless mysterious cash box. kao. suay max. lol.

went & boom my storage char de hair. ==" u don wanna see it. lol...

&& got a new maple bf? =( nt sure leiis.. haha.. bt nice lo him :PP

dunno y he din on9 last 2 days~~ T^T lol..

went to Chinese Tuition these past few days... spam BC essays @_@

ahhh! stressed. LOL.

OO! Today teacher brought us to see Termite Nest at Kiansom thr.

the swimming pool side.

So geli. LOL. & so much ants! MUCH i tell u.. lol.

Hmm... since sienz of maple jz nw~

switched to photoshop :DD

wheee~~ check out my latest work in my FB profile =)

[[Current Profile Pic]]

nyahahaha ♥

OO~ other den that hor!

CHANG UNG YEE!!~~ found ur bloqq desu! ♥♥

hehehe... :P

BUT HMMPHHHHH!!! U TYPO ERROR MY NAME!!

have to saman u :PP kekeke... ♥

New Year AngPau must bigger worH~ 曾祖母！

Things are getting better le gua.. though i still dislike seeing some ppl in church.

bad memories =( lol.. bt other den tat quite ok le :)

AHHH! so many things to do leihhs! esp after spm O_O

1) Lvl 120 in maple =)

2) Go gene & bahamut & skills quest @@

3) decorate & customize ffs profile =P

4) go out with Auntie Cat! (Godma)

5) make vids?

6) xmas presents!♥

7) AFTER SPM PARTAYY

8) Farewell for Eileen ='(

& other things gua... lol~ :P

tat's all for nw lorh keke..

GOing out to CP with Bffs 2mr! woo! ♥♥

Shhyytt-est year in my whole 17 years of living

On the sum, 2009 = shit.
feeling suicidal. 3 more days to SPM & these things happen.
I should have said no....
luck? or God? or jz plain assed fate?!

1st : SO SORRY TO GOD.. for spoiling the mass today.
2nd : Sorry to LifeTeen, i noe i caused trouble.
3rd : Sorry to Mr. Who-Is-In-Charge.. but in my defence, I havent attended church for quite some time. Super-duper sorry tat i was out of order!

for all the above,
IN MY DEFENCE:
1) i'm a noob. end of story.
2) Dont expect things outta me pls! That's d cause of my downfall.
3) I cant work wit pressure esp tis year so back off!
4) Dont ever say " i'm sure u can do well." if u wanna say smth, say smth lk, "just do ur best..".. oh wait.. tat doesnt help too! so best thing to do, SHUT THE **** UP. thank eu~♥
5) NO1 friggin gave me a whole briefing abt the frigging NEW procession.
6) I nvr participated in a mass USING THE FRIGGING NEW PROCESSION.
7) I dont concentrate so much in church to the extend I RMB THE WHOLE PROCESSION.

URGHHH. GIMME A HOLE SO I CAN BURY MYSELF.
**** MAX.
ya, so now i'm drowning in embarassment, self-pity, anger & hatred.
Thnks so much for everything. ♥

Btw, sorry again to LifeTeen, sorry to disappoint..
I've shud have listened to mummy.. quit lifeteen.
1st hand shitty experience to get me to quit nw.
Bye LifeTeen.
I'll try to miss ya. ♥

________________________________________________

if u're thinking y the title is shyyt-est year,
to simplify EVERYTHING...
is.. everything i loved, enjoyed was taken away.. EVERYTHING.
Its quite ponderable hw love can so easily turn to hard core hate.

1) Debate -
(was actually taken away last year but the effects remained)

2) Drama -
(hate it cz of certain ppl who couldnt take critism & went all around talking bad abt us)

3) Teachers -
a) Pn. Chu - utterly destroyed by Mooting ♥
(eventhough she doesnt say it, i noe she dislikes me & yeahh its a mutual feeling.)

b) Mdm Rose - utterly destroyed by Spell-It-Right Comp
(yeahh we beh song each other since Form4 anyways.. jz tot things would differ a bit.. boohu)

c) etc etc..

Conclusion: I can NVR get close to a teacher. whn i do, the relationship gets spoilt.
I wonder if its the same when it comes to other ppl? mayb tat's y i keep ppl at an arm's distance everytime, everywhere, everywho and how.

3) Law Interest- taken awayy by Moot Comp..
(neglection in grp, emotional turmoil, too much expectation from ehem.., pointing fingers..)

4) Singing?
(hmm.. expected more of it from BC singing comp, bt too bad. tat experience became smth we nvr talked of. 1st time compete= last time compete, 1st time sing with bffs bt... actually wanted it to be a memorable thing we did all together..)

i shud stop, u shud b able to get the picture nw.

i wanna die.
i wanna vanish from tis world.
i wanna nvr had been born.
i wanna leave here.
i wanna burn off these chapters from my life.
i wanna tear smth down. a town perhaps?
i wanna get out of tis friggin feeling.
i wanna quit on myself.
i wanna scream.
i wanna... i wanna...... just die...

i just wanted recongnition the right way, the right time..
y izzit so hard??!!
putting all these onto a 17-yr old.. its rather unfair..
Y cant i jz live normally? sometimes i wish i am Wilfred.
mayb things will b so much simpler.. much less hurtful..

if ending my own life isnt a sin,
i'm long gone.

Bikin Panas!

URGHHHH!!
HAVING INNER TURMOIL?!?!
!*@&*^($#)_)#*$(^@#*#&(@!!!

Tot of smth today. Jz suddenly.
Rmbered so clearly wad u said last year!
"i'm nt gonna accept that, esp if from you."
HUUUU KAO.
Wahliaoooehh~ Seriously, u gt prob wit me izzit?!?!
If it's VANITY den SHAME ON YOU.
If it's not, den state ur POINT! If you cant, SHAME ON YOU AGAIN.
URGHHH. Such Hypocrisy!!

YA LA I NOE I NT AS FUNN ETC.
But that's only when wit ppl like u.. ppl i dont trust. mayb ppl i cant.
Despite wad ur pee brain is thinking, i can & know hw to have fun with the right ppl.
I have my share of fun wit my BFFs, good frends & even jrs. SO BACK OFF will ya?

Srsly.. dont b so judgemental. shheesh. or izzit that u r envious?
That thr r ppl who like me for despite all tat u think?!~
ppl i call frends? & nt jz hang-out-ppl?
PWEEASE. Or izzit tat u're uncomfortable that i see thru u? U SCARED?!

URGHH. I HAVE EGO TOO YA KNOW?
Even as a normal minor tiny-weeny fren la.. nid u do tat?
call me paranoid, bt hey it happened more than once, twice, or wait.. i lost count.

So, den, if by chance u see tis,
do smth. cz everytime u get close, i felt a twitch of disgust inside.

***************

sigh. badd day today!
i dropped around RM20 around damai area..
den my mum saw it... saw it tio pick up by some retarded pilak! KAO.
Gt a lecture from my dad. shheesh.. ppl make mistake lo k?!
& u think i wanna drop the money de meh!?! SIENZ!
*BANG THE WALL* *PUNCH & KICK!!*
GAHHH. at most I pay u back the $$ larh! DOII.
BIKIN PANAS. DARN U PILAKS!

****************

Din study much today!
Mood: BAD
Migrane: WORSEN
Aura: LEFT ME ALONE
Emotion: OVERIDING.

urghh~ TnT nvm.. nid to get my feet back on!!
less than 18days to go before SPM. @__@ DIE HARD.
Gonna have SEJ study group 2mr..
hope it'll help & work out nicely.
nw, gonna force meself to read up on some sej..
ciao ppl~

(: Down recent memory lane ♥♥

On last friday~ (16th Oct) I actually went to SG =) haha. SHH..
anyways~ had a great time thr with my relatives :D
despite all the marathon of running ==" && some issues with "some" ppl.. haihh~~!!
Oh yah, if u're wondering y i go SG for~ i went to pray =) hehe.. For my SPM at the Novena Church~

I saw Fr. Simon Piererra lehh~ bt din get the chance to greet =( oh well~ 10hrs in church wasnt easy at all, man~ @@ so sleepy & bored. LOL. cz the homily & petitions all the same one!

I met a new fren in the church leiis (:
Her name is Charmaine Seah~ SGrean~ & having her O-Levels soon..
I'm touched by her faith rly =) she's nt a catholic nor a christian but yet she trusted Mother Mary & God so whole heartedly~ It’s rare to find ppl like that nw TnT Oh well~ XD I did some preaching mayb? lol.

OH YAHHHH~ I met JunXian lerhh luhh in SG~
LMAO MAX haha.. awkwardness @_@ haha..
Reason we met: Wanna give him a belated bday present from Miy & me =)
Hope he touched hor~ hahaha.. straight from Sabah ni! && bought the gift the night b4 go SG~

Is a cupp desu =P ♥

Btw, he told me to meet him in Woodlands MRT hor~ but din tell me Woodlands area gt 3 MRT stations! So went to the wrong one at 1st @@ Aunt brought me to Admiralty. Den gostan to Woodlands. Lmao la~ he on his ipod both ears, eyes see left & right again @@ cant see me opposite waving n shouting lk mad.. until nid ask the indian lady beside him to call him~ memang LOL-able hahaha..

Anyways~ Went shopping at Suntech City the 1st night =)
GOSH. I'm telling you! I swore i could melt like spongebob & patrick in OTAKU HOUSE.
Super NICE! The price quite ok la~ IF. IF. u r SGrean. If convert to RM @_@ die hard ex.
So i din buy much lorhh T^T bt jz window shop thr oso can feed the eyes & heart! *screams*
How i wish i can take photographs! bt cannot orh. the shop forbids it =n="

here's wad i bought:

Finally an armour ring for myself!! \(v”)/

A Vongola Ring for Jovian (: Hibari’s one.
yeahh yeahh~ u love me XD hahaha.

I bought the Dumpty Key Phone Strap for my sis (: but it MIA during photo session =(

Den we oso went to Courseway Point, Jurong Point, Novena Square~
Bought clothes etc~ hehe. OH YAHH. I wanna complain smth sia!
SIAO MAD & DISAPPOINTED!! Comic Connection sux! Prefer Otaku House (:
The people working at Comic Connection nt even otaku at the very least ==”
NT SYOK DE WHEN ASK THINGS~ GEEZ! Otaku Hse de~ Memang Friendly Otakus XD hehe. Make u feel lk u belong bha.
&& hor~ Comic Connection de Poster stocks OMGEE. They jz put it on the flr. ==! Most of it like hamchoi!
how buy orh!? Grrrr! But I buy only larh ==~ one piece SG$3 (RM7.50) so only bought 4. For me & Bffs. Since I dunno wad else can buy lerh.. haihh.. den bought collar pins (3 VK de, 2 Kuro de) 1 gave to Karen, 1 gave to Hew, 1 my sis took..

=) I bought Pocky too! XD but the cheap ones la.. =( d more normal one.. Milk, Choco & strawberry~ Each SG$1.40 (RM3.50) the special ones like Orange etc is S$4.50 TnT sad sadd..

Ok larh~ dun wan talk so much le =) refer pics bha keke..

My Kuroshitsuji Poster (: ♥♥
Stare at it every night before slp =PP

The overall things I bought in SG :D
excluding the dumpty key phone strap & clothes =P

***Drum rolls***
One of my kiuuuut-est couzzy~ Yan Chuan :D
Wahh dun see him like tis horr~ very pro fang dian~ haha..
gt variety again LOL. can even mimic mickey mouse~ or so they say.. O.o

My Eldest Aunt (Da Yi) & her mini boyfrend haha~

Classy Shopping Mall Toilet =D

Toilet Lightings are always great Lols xDD

The Roof of Esplanade! Durian-like :D

Group photo outside Esplanade!
-Phoebe, Mum, me, Auntie Peggy & Cousins & Aunts (:

Main exhibition in Esplanade. Solely outta polystrene :D Pro right?

-One of the art pieces-
Along the way to Esplanade, the walkway walls are all arts :)
art lovers shud visit here :D

Merlion-cub
Auntie Peggy that followed us to SG. & her daughter.
No offence, they nvr make my day. @@!

The Merlion-ness =)

Yan Chuan sorta has a butt fetish =n= hahaha..

yes.. that's exactly wad he's pointing at. LOL.

Poor statues =x hahaha..

Japanese Food Street! Lovely isnt it? XD
bought sushi tat day ;P Uncle Anthony's treat =PP

Mum & me

Leaving SG lerh~
McD breakfast at the Budget Terminal =)
-Uncle Anthony, Mum, Aunt Fezailah-

A lot to tell =))

heya guys~ tis year has been busy busy & lazy lazy =P
ps for slow updates & no updates ==''
anyways~ tis post will be short ;)
but prepare for the next one hahaha..
The past week was marathony. & i fell sick =(
I think i have mild telesimia O_O
siao dizzy @@ due to lack of rest? aihhz..
Oh well~

To all my frends in school =P
Sorry that i partially lied ._. i was more than sick kihkihkih...
if u dun understand, den u'll noe on tues haha..
bb for nw =)

KISS THE RAIN - 雨の印记

Even without lyrics, music can touch hearts..
How nostalgic...

1st poetic post in tis blog =) [i think]
Inspired by the song.
And named after it (:

KISS THE RAIN - 雨の印记

Fragments of memories flashed..
The Happiness, The Laughter..
The sorrow and the tears too.
I feel like smiling
Yet simultaneously,
the glint of sadness is found
Deeply within..

Looking back,
Many people come and go in life..
The visible became the invisible,
The unforgotten became the forgotten.

Looking back,
many a times in life,
we experience posession and lost..
The invisible became visible,
The forgotten thus became the unforgetten..

But,
Does the invisible befall as the non-existent?
Subsequently,
Does the unforgotten then etched as the memorable?

The fear of parting with close ones..
The sadness that overhelms the fact that we're all growing up..
Supplemented with,
The courage to take on new adventures..
The grasp of holding on to so many memories..

Complications.
Overiding of emotions and feelings.

Penned by AyuTomoe 20.09.2009

But in the end, we still ought to accept..
However life will turn out to be..

Just wanna say, I'm gonna miss so many ppl after SPM.
sometimes it hurts..
but i'll cherish everything we have nw ^^
Love y'all lots my fwens!! ):

Some updates :D

Life's been dull and tiring =3=
All is exam exam exam T^T
sad sad LOL.
Exam gonna continue till 9th of Oct! OMG

Anyways,
Ma bro went to India lurhh... sad sad F3..
Luckily he din nub till lost anything on the way XD
haha.. but thr was some probs with the India Police..
Apparently, the University typed his certificate wrongly.
It states "MISS JOVIAN"
WAHAHAHA... :D
besides tat he doing fine i guess =)

Hm.. Going way back,
many things happened sia..
Mostly maple related =="
I shud rly stop tat game LOL.
I did le gua for nw D:
cz i got back my 11m! from tat NUB SCAMMER =P
Wheee~
Special thx to AmuChi (baka sis) F3 who help me track him hahaha
N oso to SummerPandaX (Meibao) for helping me threaten him? huuhu XD

Also hor, Amuchi got hacked sia O_O
n she caused my ex-dar tio hacked too.
**DOUBLE KILL**
zzz... anyways, my sis lost a few mils and 26k @Cash! OMG =3=
tu la she nub LOL.
my ex-dar leh, um lost abt 75m? @cash i dunno if he lost any..
Oh buuhoo for them F3.
The real point is, =3= tat darn sohai boi go blame me for hacking him! OMG.
I could die of anger man. He's so random =="
Ask for my Id n pass again~! Konon to check if i HACKED him. WTF la.
I nt stupid hor! Eh~ I memang is Science Class de neh.. Form5 again.
And hello~ i study psycology dude! I know wad u're thinking la.
shhesh.. stupid kids annoy me. =="
Went thru a lot of sms and sword fighting ;)
which i truly enjoyed! seriously, it was the spice of life :D
but the sad thing is i won. LOL. means the fight ends. =(
i so still wanna rub his own typical-trying-to-hack-me mistakes in his face.
and hor, i rly enjoyed the reverse psycology i played on him~! It worked!
he fell into every one of the traps , making him speechless~ wootz!
hehehe..
Special thx to Miyage and Mystique :) for helping me in this thing haha..
for mean words and extra sarcasm :P
also thx to Obi Kor =) who advice me hehe..
Oh rite.. and thru tis incident hor, i found out that he was lk cheating on me sia.
KAO. His other dar CHIU KATAK SIA. Keep LC me. WTF.
oh well, like i care abt guys like tat.
well, a toast to them to a shtty life together :D
A B! and BS! wonderful pair ma x)

Oh ya!
There will be a 2-days Youth Rally at Dewan Foo Chow on the
26th to 27th of Sept 2009! (Sat-Sun)
Fee is Rm70 thou =(
But food included, from morning to nite~
also hor~ the speaker is...
*drum rolls*
Fr. Stan Fortuna!!
He's a wonderful musician~
From the States.
And he's one of the Kewl-est Priest U will ever get to meet!
He raps lo!
anyways *w* I won a free ticket! wheeee~!
Life Teen is sponsoring 10 teens to the rally and had set up many competitions!
I won from the Essay Competition hehehe... ;P

Oh n I joined the choir for the mass during the rally.
Tiring i must say. T^T
but love the songs hehe..
but hor, since its like a big thing, a priest from USA leh coming.
So the mass is in original mode. less hippy song but more solemn de T^T

Oo!! I just remembered, i had one of those crazy convo wit..
*Spotlights*
Brenda Chai! The one-of-a-kind-Freaks in SMKLY =D
wahahaha... and oso with Charlene! ^^
It was after skul bah, and i was bored.. Karine went home le (ditcher! T^T)
den i saw Charlene lo, den talk talk talk..
Joined by Brenda a while later. The hyper-ness starts!
She called me Fudge LOL.
Anyways, we were all bored and i started to ask questions.
"Hmm... how do u say "I dont know" in Chinese??"
I wanted to tease Charlene, but Brenda replied instead, "我不知道".
And i said to her, "你不知道meh?"
Charlene immediately bend into 2 and LMAO-ing, so was i.
But poor freak. she slow bah.. ==" she blur lo..
den when we explained, she smacked me hard on the shoulder! Ouch!
haha.. the next Question, " how do u say "I choose pin" in melay?"
I explained the "pin" as in like "safety pins" those type of pins.
Charlene took a long time to answer sia T^T
But she fell for it! WAHAHAHA..
"Saya pilih pin" (if u get the joke, u'll laugh :D)
and we burst out laughing again. BUT AGAIN. =="
Brenda was blur and was like "wad's so funny?"
Its just "pin-pin" or smth like tat..
I raised an eyebrow but ignored her haha..
Den hor after a while, Eloise joined us and i asked the same Question.
then baru Brenda get the joke ==" sheesh brenda.
A new joke unfolded. Apparently, Brenda focused so much on wad i explained abt pins.
that somehow she tot, i was asking her wad is pinS in malay. as in kata majmuk.
OMG. HAHAHA.. So tat's y she replied "pin-pin"
But dear dear Brenda! Even in malay no such thing as kata majmuk for pin la!
No such thing as pin-pin! LOL.
Man, those r the days u wish u could remain :)
We were all laughing to the extend tat our ribcage hurts, our faces went red and tears could have made their way out of our eyes!
Jolly glad about it =) cheered me up a lot hehe..
Exam's been stressful T^T
so thx to freak brenda and to hm.. (I'll find a word) charlene! ^^

I'll sign off for now, tired eh..
blogging takes a long time haha.. ;)
all the best to every1 who's doing their spm trial and preparing for PMR!
also, gratz to miy for finally settled her stuff :D